


An Argument As Old As Time

by Shadowmatic



Series: Pride Month 2020 [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Cake, F/M, He’s still a super soldier he’s just not big, Multi, Pie, Set right after the Battle of Manhattan, This takes place in like 2012 Avengers Fanon basically, Tiny Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:40:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24528514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowmatic/pseuds/Shadowmatic
Summary: Steve really hadn’t meant to start an argument.
Relationships: Jane Foster/Darcy Lewis/Thor, Other Relationships (Not Mentioned), Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: Pride Month 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1771609
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is what Civil War is actually about.

Stark stared at Steve. Steve stared at Stark. 

“Well,” Stark said eventually, “at least they got one thing right about you. You sure like truth, justice, and apple pie.” Steve looked down at the pie, now cooling on the counter, slightly perplexed. He hadn’t known about that particular bit of propaganda, even if he had known about the figurehead they pretended was him. Even as a super soldier, skinny, five foot six Steve didn’t really make a good impression. 

“I’ve never had any other kind of pie.” Steve said, remembering the pies that he and Bucky would sometimes see in the windows of bakeries while they were on their paper route, how Mrs. Barnes would always make an apple pie for Thanksgiving, and how she would always make sure everyone got an even slice, and the way that Peggy had talked about her mother cooking raspberry pie in what little down time they had been able to find in the middle of a fucking war. 

He missed them so much. It made him so angry that the world seemed to remember only him, and not even the real him at that, when they had been so instrumental in everything he did. 

There was an ache in his chest whenever he thought of them which was if he were anymore melodramatic, where he might say his heart used to be. That joke would have made Bucky laugh, Steve thought, before shaking himself out of his moroseness.

“That’s a fucking tragedy.” Barton said, popping around the corner as though he had been there the whole time. “Pumpkin pie is the fucking best. Though apple pie is definitely the third best.”

“What’s the second best?” Steve asked. 

“Pecan.” Barton chirped, hopping up onto the counter and sticking his face as close to the pie as possible, just so that he could inhale obnoxiously. “It smells delicious Cap.”

“Thanks.” The Battle of Manhattan, as the news was calling it and at least one thing hadn’t changed, had only been a few weeks previous, but already Steve was starting to learn more about the team that he was meant to lead. For instance, he could tell that Barton’s happiness was only hiding the grief and fear that he was really feeling. 

“I can’t believe you’re also on his side.” Stark said, crossing his arms. He glanced over Steve’s shoulder and his eyes brightened. “Bruce, help me out here, cake or pie?”

“Pie.” Dr. Banner said, stepping around the island that they were all clustered at and refilling the electric kettle. “That smells quite good Captain.” 

“Thanks.” Steve was blushing a little now. He had never been a particularly talented cook, in part because he had never had much to work with, and using the kitchen was strange. He had found and then ignored what looked like an electric mixer in favour of a spoon in part because he had no idea how it worked. He had remembered the recipe though, and that was the part that mattered. 

“I should teach you how to make Pirog.” Romanov, much like Barton, had snuck into the kitchen and appeared at Steve’s elbow like she had been there the whole time. “We can have pies for dinner. Barton can make Sheppard’s Pie.”

“I can do that.” Barton agreed. 

“I know how to make a Tarta de Santiago.” Dr. Banner offered. Steve didn’t know what that meant, but he figured Dr. Banner would have it well in hand. 

“Well fuck all of you, I’m making a cake, and you’re all going to rue the day you ever thought pie was better.” Stark said, rubbing his hands together. Steve was suddenly glad that he had managed to clean up the kitchen before they all came in, because he had a feeling that it was going to quickly become a disaster zone. 

“You might want to move your pie into the dining area.” Clearly Romanov had the same idea as he did. Steve nodded sharply, and pulled the oven mitts back on, carrying the pie and the pot holder it was sitting on out of the room. 

When Ms. Potts arrived two and a half hours later, the kitchen looked a bit like a bomb had gone off, or like somebody had used baking ingredients as a weapon in a fight. Stark as it turned out, baked like he did everything else. Which was to say very quickly and with a bit of unneeded flair. That was one of the few ways that he reminded Steve of Howard, the unnecessary flair. 

“What on earth were you doing to make this kind of a mess?” Ms. Potts asked as she walked into the kitchen, startling Steve out of his crust centred concentration. Romanov proved to be an excellent, if curt, teacher, and Steve was looking forward to trying the Pirog. When Steve’s mother had still been living, they had had a neighbour who had made something smaller, and Steve figured it would taste similar. 

“Pep!” Stark’s attention flew from the cake he had just place into the oven to his girlfriend. “I’m trying to prove a point.”

“What point?” Ms. Potts sounded more amused than anything. Romanov nudged him sharply with her elbow from where she was tending to the borscht she was making, and Steve turned back to his crust. 

“Cake or pie?” 

“Ah.” There was silence, filled only with rushing water as Barton valiantly tried to make a dent in the amount of cleaning they would have to do, and the bubbling of Romanov’s soup. “Cheesecake is my favourite, as you well know Tony.” Stark’s groan of dismay caused Steve to tuck his chin, trying to hide his smile in the pie crust. Romanov snickered. 

“That’s essentially a pie.” He complained.

“It’s called a cake Tony.” Dr. Banner said, stacking his dishes together. His pie was waiting for its turn in the oven. Barton’s Shepard Pie was already sitting on the counter, fully cooked. 

“It has a crust.” Stark protested. Steve finished the last of his folds, and after accepting Romanov’s nod of approval, turned to watch the scene unfold. 

“I suppose you’re right.” Ms. Potts was smiling. “I guess that means I’m team pie.”

“No!” Stark shouted, swinging around to glare at all of them. “One of you has subverted my girlfriend.” Romanov snorted. 

“You did that all yourself Stark.” 

Despite all arguments they had a lovely dinner, and Steve realized as he stabbed his last bite of Stark’s Angel Food Cake, that it was the longest that they had all spent together in the same room when there was no actual danger. 

“So,” Stark leaned forward, waving his fork at Steve. “What’d’ya think?”

“It’s a good cake.” Steve admitted. 

“And?” Stark prompted. 

“Pie’s still better.” Steve said, and the look of comically exaggerated outrage on Stark’s face was well worth all of the work that had gone into dinner. 


	2. Chapter 2

The moment that Fury left, Stark turned to Thor and the two scientists, and Steve was so fucking excited that women could be scientists now. 

“I need to ask you a very important question.” He said, and Steve wondered where he was going with this.

“Of course.” Thor’s booming voice always startled Steve a little. “What is your question?”

“Cake,” Stark paused for dramatic effect, “or pie?” Thor laughed. 

“I am awfully fond of a good cake.” Thor said. “I like a Delfiakake, or a Smultring.” 

“Neither of those words mean anything to me.” Stark shook his head. 

“They are Norse.” 

“Of course. And you lovely ladies?”

“Cake.” Ms. Lewis said immediately. Dr. Foster took a moment longer to think. 

“I prefer pie.” She said eventually, and Barton raised his fist. 

“Another for team pie!” He exclaimed. 

“What are you doing still here?” Agent Hill asked, stepping back into the conference room. 

“Hey Hill, cake or pie?” Barton asked, grinning. Agent Hill glared at him, and so did Steve. 

“Does it matter Barton?” There was a moment of silence and then she said: “Pie.”

“Fuck.” Stark muttered, and Steve transferred his glare to him. It was one thing to ask an inappropriate question to a superior officer, it was another to swear in front of one. 

Hill sighed. 

“Just get out.” 

“Yes ma’am.” Barton was still grinning as he brushed past Agent Hill. They followed him. 

“I apologize for their behaviour ma’am.” Steve said as the others filed out. “That was inappropriate.”

“It’s fine.” Agent Hill sighed again. “Makes me glad I’m not in charge of you.”

“Of course. Have a good day ma’am.” Steve saluted sharply, because it seemed like the thing to do, and then followed the last of his team out the door. 

Stark managed to convince Thor to make Delfiakake for dinner in celebration of the fact that he had returned, though how that was fair, Steve didn’t know, and also in celebration of the fact that he finally had someone else on his side. Steve had thought that Thor and Dr. Foster were dating, but the way that Ms. Lewis was acting around both of them was confusing him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: cake or pie (day 3 of @cutequeerpositivity on Tumblr’s Pride Month prompt list)
> 
> Are you team Tony or team Steve?


End file.
